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Fresh Start



A brand new year. People like to celebrate and make such a thing out of it. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. It's nice to have a transition period where everyone stops, regroups, and starts over. Last year took several unexpected turns. This year should be equally exciting. I get so nostalgic and reflective at the beginning of every new year.


The other day I went through several storage boxes marked "Tristan's Memories." Foolishly I thought I could weed out stuff I no longer needed and we could save space in the garage. Who was I kidding? I hoard paper, especially if it includes any kind of writing. How could I possibly throw out written moments of my life?


My goal is to keep this Pandora's Box of my former life. Eventually I will die and my children can sort through all the notes and letters. They will most likely curse me and wonder why I would save so much junk they don't care about.


Even if I only wade through the fallout every decade or so, it reminds me of who I was then and what I meant to the people in my life. Although I found several letters where I found myself wondering if I ever wrote them back! A friend went on and on about how she's not good at writing to people and she was sorry it took her so long to congratulate me on getting married. Did I ever write her back? I hope so.


One letter caught my attention. It was a humbling reminder of who I am to my family. I haven't forgotten who I am, per se. I had forgotten some of those experiences and insight. I feel a renewed sense of purpose. The letter has me questioning if I am living up to the potential others see in me. Also, it makes me want to be a better person.


I don't know what 2019 holds for me. There are planned projects and vacations. Different milestones we expect. If I have learned anything from 2018, it is that I have no idea what to expect.


I am still overwhelmed by the unexpected blessings from 2018. Some were miracles ten plus years in the making. Through it all, I was reminded how much my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ are aware of me. There were difficult and painful moments that tested my faith. Post-it Notes from Heaven (tender mercies) always showed up just when I needed them most. As odd as it sounds, there were plenty of times when I was so grateful for my broken body because it brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. It's hard to articulate. But I can never forget the feelings I had.


At the risk of being trite, I look forward to new revelations, new insights, and new growth this year. I look forward to building deeper friendships as well as spending more quality time with my family. I don't have resolutions yet. I may not. I like to set goals when the mood strikes and not necessarily when I open a fresh calendar. Regardless of any resolutions, it's a new year … with no mistakes in it yet!

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